What I Learned by Following My Passion to Become an Artist

First and foremost, my art is a medium for expressing and communicating ideas, insights, or concepts. So basically, pretty much everything I’m interested in naturally flows into my artwork pieces. This happens consciously and/or unconsciously. My subconscious mind has always had a big influence on my work, just as it has in the case of every other artist I’d say. So, I’m going to share with you, what I’ve learned along my journey of following my passion to become an artist.

Refusing to stop daydreaming

As a child I was always  mesmerized by stories which I read in books or watched in movies and anime. Especially fantasy books and anime – where the protagonist shows an incredible development in skills and personality – this caught my interest and became the main content of my daydreams. And by the way, I always was a dreamer, which also was clear to everybody in my environment. My mind often wandered off to daydreams before I even realized and this made me forget my current surroundings. So, for example – Once, I was strolling across the soccer field during training, staring into the clouds, while everybody else was focused on the training. A classmate tried talking to me and after a short break of the conversation she realized with a smile that my mind wandered off again. Within my family, my older siblings always had to help me with getting back my backpack or jacket, which I tended to forget in school or the bus from day to day because of my head being in the cloud so much. 

Obviously, being like this, I have always had a great imagination, which got trained and fueled by all the fantasy stories, that I loved so much. 

Facing the negative impact of the society on a child’s creative wisdom

As a child, I didn’t think about things as possible or not possible. But as I grew up in this society, dominated by science and narrow-minded people, I got told over and over again, what is possible and what not. I even started adopting all these limiting points of view (which usually generate negative belief systems) just like children tend to do, trusting that the grown ups know what’s best.

Nevertheless, I always felt the longing inside of me, a passion within me to achieve something big with my talent for art, even if it’s just for myself. Just like the protagonists of the movies, I wanted to develop into something much bigger, beyond the limit of what was considered ‘possible’.

Years passed, as I went through school. Sadly, at that time, my family told me that my dream to become an artist was impossible. At a certain point, many other hopes seemed to fade slowly. However, I never stopped dreaming and I repeatedly kept telling myself that one day I’ll make it. 

It was quite demotivating to me as a child, to never get to hear somebody telling me “you can do this, you can make it, it is possible, just be consistent in your work and have patience.”

This brought me to a huge conclusion about a common negative impact of a society  – this is one of the major problems of today’s society in fact. All of us are exposed to cultural and educational systems as kids, which impose limiting beliefs, often discouraging originality and freethinking,  degrading a child’s creativity and inner spiritual wisdom – something like this happens to everyone  in one way or another. But, it is up to us to rise above that and to have the courage to risk it, to embark on the adventure of following ones passion.

The early moments of enlightenment

During this childhood phase, I managed to produce moments of profound insights for myself, over and over again. Today I know what helped me the most back then, was my daydreaming and all the meditative and soulful drawings that I did over the years.

I remember watching an anime movie, in which the people are able to use “Chakra” in order to do unbelievable things, every person had their own unique abilities. The idea of Chakra in the world of anime is derived from the human chakra system of energy fields and teachings on the highest form of energy such as ‘Chi’ coming from Buddhism, or ‘Prana’ from Hinduism. While watching these movies, I always thought “yeah, if I lived in this world, where this type of chakra exist, I would do all the training and hard work to get better, because then I’d know that there are no limits.” 

And then it struck me… my first moment of enlightenment came…

I suddenly became aware of what I was actually thinking. In every story, every protagonist, doesn’t know that there are no limits and that they can evolve in such a way. In the same way, in this life, no one can actually know if something is possible until they try it. I then realized that, so far, I was making excuses for myself to not try to follow my dreams. 

I learned then that I had to stop listening to the people around me. I decided to believe in the things I wanted to believe in, and I started following my passion.

The Spiritual Awakening

After a while I started to realize that the science we’re taught at school, which everybody believes in, isn’t an absolute truth, as many might seem to think. Every scientific law was figured out by a single mind, which came from an abstract idea, forming a thesis and then seeking for a way to prove it right. 

So actually, every single step in evolution always started with a thought. An abstract idea that isn’t tangible. 

For me, this was proof that people are fooling them-selves, handling a model of thoughts and ideas as something definite, something that will never change and is determined by the outer world.

To get to this point, it wasn’t just a quick insight I had. It was a long term process which happened over the years. 

Since then, I decided to delete the word “impossible” from my personal dictionary, to revive all my hopes and visions. I decided that I had to go out there and share them with all the people who may have doubts or aren’t yet able to believe in the things they want to and to follow their dreams.

On this journey, through my art and my reflections on all my work pieces –  I want to share my insights with the world, with the hope that they will help inspire, motivate, encourage someone to believe in themselves when no one else does Especially for those longing and striving to actualize their own big visions. Doing so, I know that I myself will continue learning, improving and evolving along the way, professionally as well as spiritually.

Gedanken am 20.11.2018

Das Atmen in bzw. durch den Bauch, sorgt dafür, dass sich der Brustkorb und das Herz erholen können. Es beugt dem Ausbrennen bzw. burn out vor.
Durch das Atmen in den Bauch, verlagert sich der Schwerpunkt des Blutkreislaufes dorthin. Beim atmen durch die Brust wiederum, verlagert sich dieser in die Brust und vor allem in die Herzgegend.

Wenn man vor dem Schlafengehen schwer isst, fällt das Atmen durch den Bauch viel schwerer, wodurch man automatisch dazu neigt, durch die Brust zu atmen. Dies verursacht über Nacht eine verringerte Erholung für das Herz.

Außerdem trainiert das Atmen durch den Bauch und die Konzentration auf das Nabel- und das Sakral Chakra das Ki.

Das Herz kann wie eine Fackel für Liebe und Leidenschaft gesehen werden die entflammt ist. Brennt diese jedoch ohne Unterlass, verbrennt jegliches Brennmaterial, bis nichts mehr da ist, was der Flamme Nahrung bietet. Deswegen ist die Erholung sehr wichtig.
Bestes Bsp. sind Menschen die sich überarbeiten. Sie verkürzen ihre Lebenszeit und bekommen manchmal sogar ein Loch im Herzen.

Nicht um sonst gilt die Bauchatmung als beruhigendere und entspannende Atmung. Sie soll auch tiefer sein als die Brustatmung.

Sein ganzes Leben strebt man nach der Anerkennung anderer. Ob man sich dessen bewusst ist oder nicht. Um dies zu erreichen, schultert man die Lasten ihrer Hoffnungen und Wünsche. Auch Hoffnungen die sie in dich haben. Hoffnung, dass ihnen liebe und Zuneigung entgegengebracht wird, dass man ihnen auf Augenhöhe begegnet und sie für voll nimmt.
Die Hoffnung, dass man seinen Weg im Leben findet, nicht vom Rechten Pfad abkommt und sich ein glückliches Leben aufbaut. Dass man dafür kämpft die eigenen Träume und Hoffnungen zu erfüllen!

Am meisten schmerzt es wenn man Leute die man liebt und die einem Nähe sind, enttäuscht. Für beide Seiten gleichermaßen. Darum immer zu seinem Wort stehen und seinem Weg des Lebens, wenn man diesen erst ein mal gefunden hat, treu bleiben.

Meiner ist es, niemals aufzugeben. Egal wie unmöglich die Aussichten auf die Erfüllung meiner Träume und Hoffnungen sind. Und wenn man das unmögliche möglich machen muss!

Heute ist der erste Schnee in Weimar gefallen.

BWL Projekt – Studium

Wie ich bereits in den anderen Posts erwähnt habe, hat mein Ingenieurs Studium in Weimar nun begonnen. Diese Woche ist die zweite Woche, seitdem die Vorlesungen begonnen haben, verstrichen. Glücklicherweise wurde uns in den BWL Vorlesungen mitgeteilt, dass wir einen Business Case als Prüfungsvorleistung abliefern sollen und auf Wunsch diesen zum Ende des Semester starten können, um somit statt der Prüfung dieses Projekt bewertet zu bekommen. Und was würde sich da mehr als meine angehende Selbstständigkeit anbieten? Diese Woche sollten wir also als Teil einer Prüfungsvorleistung eine freie Aufgabe erledigen, welche ich hier einfach mal hineinkopiert habe:

Branche: Mein Unternehmen soll in der Kunst-/Illustartionsbranche tätig sein.
Produkt/Dienstleistung: Es soll eine große Variation an Dienstleistungen und Produkten angeboten werden. Über soziale Medien (z.B. Facebook, Instagram, Twitter) werden regelmäßig künstlerische Werke und Fotos oder Zeitraffervideos über deren Entstehung gepostet, um einerseits andere Leute zu inspirieren und andererseits die zunehmende Popularität solcher Aktionen für das Marketing zu nutzen. Über YouTube soll über einen langen Zeitraum hinweg der Fortschritt des Künstlers präsentiert werden, sowie notwendiges Wissen für künstlerische Tätigkeiten vermittelt werden. Dazu gehören anatomisches Wissen der Menschen und Tiere und Mal- bzw Zeichentechniken mit diversen Medien (z.B. Ölfarben, Aquarelle, Zeichenkohle, Digitale Kunst…). Auch hier sollen Zeitraffervideos zur Vermittlung des Prozesses und Inspiration bereitgestellt werden. All diese Plattformen laufen auf der Webseite zusammen, über die man private Aufträge an den Künstler geben kann, Hinweise zu seinen Kursen (die dieser womöglich geben wird) finden kann oder zu seinem Shop gelangen kann. Der Shop stellt mit den Motiven/Werken des Künstlers bedruckte Produkte zur Verfügung (z.B. Poster, Leinwände, Möbel, Handtücher…).
Alleinstellungsmerkmal: In der Kunst gilt bekannterweise bereits die individuelle Person sowie deren individuelle Kunst bereits als Alleinstellungsmerkmal. Je ausgefallener, Vielfältiger oder auch abstrakter die Ideen desto besser. Zusätzlich soll die Kunst zur Vermittlung von Wissen genutzt werden. Es ist angedacht die komplette Anatomie des Menschen zu studieren (Organe, Knochen, äußere/Innere Muskulatur), welche es in diesem Umfang in Verbindung mit Videos im Netz noch nicht zu finden gibt. Das vermittelte Wissen soll sich jedoch in alle möglichen Richtungen ausweiten und sich nicht nur auf die Anatmomie beschränken (zusätzlich angedacht sind z.B. Psychologie, Religionen, Kulturen…). Über einen Blog auf der Webseite, die Videos auf YouTube und Beiträge auf den sozialen Medien soll der gesamte Prozess des Künstlers über die Jahre festgehalten werden. Es soll gezeigt werden, wie der Künstler es zur Selbstständigkeit schafft, zunehmend höheres Einkommen erzielt und an Popularität gewinnt, um so die Community zu motivieren, ebenfalls an Ihre Ziele zu glauben und diese zu verfolgen, unabhängig davon woher man kommt. Kunst als “Brotlose Kunst” soll widerlegt werden und den Menschen soll die Vielfalt an Möglichkeiten aufgezeigt werden.
Soweit der Plan. Mal schauen was die Zukunft bringt! 😀

The last two weeks

Hello folks!

The last two weeks were so exciting and funny to me. I met so many new people from all over the country. So many different personalities and stories. I love people. It’s so interesting to see, how different everybody is and how many perspectives exist out there.

In the first week I met the people of my faculty, but also some of the architecture and media faculties. The tutors shew us the city, the university and the library. The library is damn huge and I’m looking forward to dig into all the books. I want to read so much about psychology and art. Luckily enough there are huge sections, which cover these topics. Though we pretty much just partied all day long and every single day in the first week, my skull feels like bursting from all the new information, names and stuff that I learned. We had some pretty funny events, like running through the city in groups and with a box of beer. Another day we went from station to station, fulfilling tasks and drinking with the tutors. There were also a couple of parties in clubs and discos. One day we did a pub crawl. It was so much fun, but after the first week I really had to rest.

In the second week the lectures started. Then I really started to feel, that I didn’t do math or physics for nearly four years. I was so desperate when I realized how much I forgot and have to learn now. But it’s coming all back piece by piece. It felt like my brain was grabbing really deep into my memories to pull out the needed knowledge again. So I got Headache again. Still, I really love the feeling of thinking through stuff and learning so much. But I just came again to realize, that I don’t want to do this stuff for ever or as my future job. The longer I spend time in the lecture, the more I feel the grind in my heart and head, for sitting there instead of working on my dream or painting at home. On the other hand it really motivates me to work even harder on my art and marketing stuff and to come up with so much new ideas. I hope I will be able to live as a self-employed artist as soon as possible! 😊


Last week i finally moved from Rostock to Weimar. I always wanted to move far away from home and go out visit the world. But back then, when I just finished school and were about to start a training, I somehow was still to afraid to go far away from home. So now this was somehow the second step away from home.

I used the last week to make myself comfortable with my new home and finally recovered my stressed wrist. In the end I was able to finish a commission that I still got left and my oil painting, which I started in February. I originally made it for the qualifying examination to study art but weren’t are to finish it in time.

Since I got declined on the qualifying examination for “being too mainstream” with my art, so to speak, I had to come up with an alternative. Well my father suddenly wanted to support me financially, if I were to study the same thing that he did. And now I am here in Weimar and will study engineering. Tomorrow will be my first day and I’m a bit excited. But I guess things will go fine somehow, just as always.

Still I’m not planning to make out my life from something else than art. So I want to build up the base for becoming a self-employed artist while studying. I hope everything will work out. I want to learn as much as possible and want to have a great time, now that I finally can get my families POV’s out of my head. And I won’t fucking build the dreams of my dad. It pisses me off how much I did let dictate my life by him until now. Although that’s just his way to worry for the well being of his children and in the end he just want me to have a proper job. Thank you dad. Things are gonna get better. 😊

The Beginning

May you all have a beautiful good day! So this is finally my first blog post. I waited pretty long for it, but decided that it is time to start, before I never will do.

I guess I will just start roughly with the decisions I made this year and the goals that I set for myself and want to achieve. I will use this blog as a diary and also to share my deep thoughts, that I kept the most time of my life for myself.

So, well. This year a lots of stuff happened. In short, I decided to overthink my life and give it a new direction. A direction, that I was waiting for since I was a kid. At the age of 4 or 5 years I decided, that I one day will become an artist. Hopefully a great artist! Until this year, I always thought of my art, as not good enough yet, do get published and trying to market it. I always thought i had to improve more and more, to get to the levels of the already known artists. Even if I still didn’t reach the levels I am dreaming of, I made the decision in the beginning of this year, that it is time for me to give it a try and that I reached a level, where I can start to market my art and publish it. I met a lot of people this year who encouraged me and gave me the self-confidence to do so. I did a retreat to my home in a little village where I got raised and came up with a plan. I’m now working on building up a YouTube channel, an Instagram and Facebook Account and also started looking for platforms on the internet, where I can start selling my art. My goal is on the one hand to earn money with the thing I love to do and get a big audience, but on the other hand, I wish to make as many people as possible happy with my passion and the thing I love doing the most. Above all, I have a dream of getting a big positive impact on all the people lives out there.

Well, i know this won’t be easy and that there is a lot of hard work coming. And i guess it will take much time to build up this stuff. I hope that I will just bear with it and get through it. I will be grateful for every single support out there and do hope that you will help me reaching this goal!

I’m looking forward to the future!